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Sep. 29th, 2005 @ 06:48 am
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Looking at my room for the last time, I thought “… this can’t be happening …” but the emptiness of my closet and the desolation of the house threw me into reality. We were moving. Not just down the street, not just to another neighborhood, not just another city, not even another state, no, we were moving clear across the world. Destination: Malaysia.
Arriving in the Singapore airport nauseous and jet-lagged from a twenty something hour flight, I sat trying to regain some kind of strength. The cold, hard chairs next to the baggage claim did my rear no justice. My feet, blistered form my tourist-like flip-flops felt like they would bust at any moment. Just as I laid my head back onto my suitcase propped up against the back of my char, the intercom yelled at us that our connecting flight to Brunei was boarding. Up again on our voyage we went.
The Bruneian sun shining in my eyes, I realized we had arrived at the ferry terminal, which was nothing like what I thought it would be. As my dad was fighting to get us all tickets for the ferry to Labuan, I looked around to realize all the people watching us with unforgiving stares. The locals seemed to get their kicks from first-timer. Getting down to the ferry from rusted, wobbly stairs made me think I was just as safe to jump down onto the boat. Trying to match my seat to my ticket like a fool, I simply ended yo plopping myself down into a seat all the way to the back of the ferry. I couldn’t help but notice the man sitting next to me, happily munching on his “sotong” crisps probably had not taken a bath in over a week. The smells o dried seafood mixed with the hot cluster phobic seating arrangements of the ferry will forever haunt my memory.
We finally arrived in Loabuan an hour later and I slowly dragged my overloaded suitcase to the end of the thirty-something queue, which gave me some time to exercise my patience, and also sweat in the scorching heat.
The neighborhood I was accustomed to back in the states could never have prepared me for what I saw here. Plywood boxes with square holes in them and walls made of sheets were actually homes filled with large families, most of which had up to five or six children in them. There were dogs everywhere. Many of them had mange and sores covering their bodies. When we finally got into the house we would be living in, little kids running around barefooted would sneak up to our gates and ring the doorbell to get a laugh out of someone actually coming out to answer it. After a while we all caught on and soon enough the game was over.
The first time at the mall, I was bombarded with snickers, whistles and I even got a few passing “I love yous”. It was all so strange. Some people who had cameras would walk up and ask to take pictures with me like I was some kind of celebrity. It is really amazing how much waving you do when you know absolutely no one.
Fresh fruit and veggie markets were the coolest thing I’d ever seen. All this fresh stuff, not even washed it was so fresh set right out for people to buy it. The open markets jam packed with bustling ommas, fussy women, and every now and then a man trying to do the shopping for the family that day. My first time in the markets I just roamed around, watching in amazement; half tof the veggies and fruits I had never seen or knew existed. After a few months, as I made friends and started speaking Malay, I could go into the markets with a few bucks, jew down the prices and walk out with bags full of fresh fruits and vegetables. The natives were amazed to see a white person, or “orang puti” as they would say, living among them and learning their ways.
Even though the trip was hard, and I encountered many unexpected things, I would never trade this experience for anything. It’s not just the things I gained from my two years of living among the people of Malaysia, that has made an impact on who I am, it is the things I can’t explain, the things I saw, the lessons I learned, the people I met, and the cultures I experienced that are worth so much more than anything I’ve ever had. |
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Jul. 2nd, 2005 @ 09:11 pm
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wow.. a while since ive been on here.
tigre + natalie = 6months... pushin 7.
i love him. :)
hes in florida for a week.. so im lookin for some fun on the 4th. any takers??
love.. as always..
natalie |
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May. 7th, 2005 @ 09:23 am
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im sick.. but im pretty.
im brave.. but im chicken shit.
..and what it all comes down to.. is that everythings gonna be quite alright.
cause i've got one hand in my pocket and the other one is flickin a cigarette.
wow.. its been a hard week. but i think everything is still okay. :)
Me and Tigre are together again.... came see me at lunch.. brought me flowers and a teddy bear. all IS very well.. so dont fuck it up again.
Prom = no natalie.
Prom afterparty = fuck yes.
.........and what it all comes down to my freinds.. is that everything is going to be fine.. fine.. fine.
*you took me for a joke.. you took me for a child. ...you took a long..hard look at my ASS... and then played golf for a while.. you shake just like a fish.. you pet me on the head. you took me out to wine.dine..69 me.... but didnt hear a DAMN word i said. ..........................I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU... I KNOW RIGHT THROUGH YOU.. I'LL WALK RIGHT THROUGH YOU.*
....you scan the credits for your name.. and wonder why its not there.
-natalie...
KC..... enough said.
--WE ARE QUITE SANE... BUT too CRAZY for your taste..-- |
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(A BLOG ON MYSPACE BY MY SISTER NICOLE):
| one of the many of my other half or halves...i duno |
| so shes so rebellious. i've tried talking to her. she makes me want to cry now. i thought my example was going to be the big fix. but i was wrong. i wish shit wasnt the way it is. now im crying. effin blurry letters. i hope shes ok. i dunno wat else to do. theres been like 3x's that i felt like this with her. angry as i get, i still love her. she needs love and its so close to her. thru the next wall it is. so i've gone thru the same thing worse than she has/did. im decent. wats the matter with her? 16 and twisted. havent talked to her in like forever. i feel the separation. i want her back. we use to be the best. i love you with everything. come back please. <3 |
(MY RESPONSE):
and lastly theres dave.. still sitting on the dock.. he wonders his life.. and he skips his rocks.. and he wonders when his father will return.. but hes not coming back and he cant understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends..his mother whispers quietly........ heavens not a place you go when you die.. its that moment in life when you actually feel alive...... SO LIVE FOR THE MOMENT..........
goose bump infested embrace.
i <3 you nicole.. more than you'll ever know. and mom too...... but the sad thing is.... she doesnt know it. she doesnt feel it. shes gone from me. i feel it.... theres no compassion or even to feel rejection would be better then this.. theres nothing.. and im lost because of it. so.... i try. i read my bible more than she knows.... i spend my time alone..like she wants..... schools no HEE HEE HAHA anymore.. i hate it. i hate everything in my life right now. everything except....yeh.
(To mom) --> maybe we can have both. i believe we can. its stupid to limit yourself to one "choice". i have a "will"? then let me conquer the world.. i have the will.. so let me now pave the way. dont hold me back from having everything... no limits... only wisdom should be there as a guidline. set a good example for me to follow.. dont be a hypacrite.. admit to your wrong and dont try to justify it. im learning too.. so let me mess up at least once. Dont judge me by what other people surrounding you think.. please... let me explore.. let me adventure on my own.. with your hand of wisdom guiding my footsteps.
nicole.. i am miserable except for the days i come home.. and your home.. and we talk.. and we gossip.. and we tell secrets... your like my diary... i may forget to write some days... but i always come back to you. you are my hope.. and even tho sometimes i act like i dont care... your words mean the world to me.. and i never want to lose what we have.. im not sorry for the things i've done.... regret is stupid. whats done is done.... so go on and try not to make the same mistake. we ARE two different people.. but... no one knows the things we share... and what we've gone through together... and that connects us. that is my lifeline. so im so rebellious... but i will always come running back.. nicole you are the reason i cant leave.. i couldnt leave YOU...... i couldnt leave my favourite sister.......... i couldnt leave my diary. :) i love you.
nat
incredible night crawler
watchfull
..........and your best junkfood junkie pal. ;) its our little secret... Current Mood:  okay Current Music: spill canvas |
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May. 3rd, 2005 @ 07:49 pm
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..i might do that something..
the something that makes a scene..
...so watch for my act.
I cant believe we've split. GOD HELP ME.. im turning cirlces AND mother fucking squares.
I'm having trouble trying to sleep.. im counting sheep .. but running out. time ticks by.. but still i try.. ON MY OWN HERE WE GO..........
fucked up and sprawled out in my room... On my own.. here we go......
i dont think any of my casual words could even come close to the way i feel right now....
yes..... me and Tigre DID in fact break the fuck up. happy now? you got your wish you bitch.. you fucking bipolar maniac. i hate you.. and if you died tonight.. i wouldnt cry. Ive wasted enough of my life crying over you and your stupid fuck-ups. i hate you so much... more than you'll ever know.
No ode to Tigre' could mend what I've done.
...Trying to stay sane.
-natalie
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| » 420.. blow it up baby. |
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HAPPY 420 MUTHA FUCKERSSSSS~~~~~ my day was UNEXPLAINABLY GOOD... wow..
*no school
*tigre all day
*all the kill you could ask for
*cool ass people to chill with
thats a wrap for today.
....until next time.
-Natalie
Apr. 20th, 2005 @ 09:54 pm
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| » long time no journal. |
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heyyy ya'll.. wow. im in SCHOOL. havent been here in a while.
KARRAAA.. calling all doctors excuses right about now. haha
i havent updated a real journal in a long ass time... so here goes.
i ended up not going to spring break because our rental car wasnt ready... soooo we went to Baton Rouge.. sha.. wined and dined me at Wendy's.. ahh i love him. we had SO much fun by ourselves for the weekend. ill try and post some pictures of us soon.:)
this past weekend was tight.. saturday i went to my mom 's freind's camp in New Orleans..very very nice.
bought another tanning month at Tansations.. and ive beeen going to Reds with Traci.. sha that girl chopped the fuck outta her hair.. but EXTREMELY CUTE!
Prom is around the corner.. dunno if im going or not.. hmmmm.. no offers as of now.. all that i had got called off.. but its all cool.. 2 more years to go. :)
i love you.... but not as much as Tigre. :-P
ill finish updating LATERRRR.. got many much more to tell hehe..
Apr. 14th, 2005 @ 10:38 am
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| » off to lala land. |
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dude.. i need a place to stay for a couple weeks.. i think.
i cannot stay home anymore.. ugh.
....i still love tigre though :)
phoneless once again in life. my sister is in cali having the TIME of her life.
i think im leaving..
malaysia was so much better.. and my dad doesnt care wtf i do.. so.... i think im out.
ahhh... i love kara.. and im sorry i never can do anything with her anymore. we will as of now...
love you all
<333 leave me some sweets. :)
-Natalie
"......and she screams"
Apr. 6th, 2005 @ 09:31 am
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| » adventures of a girl. |
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with my skimpy shirts and bathing suits i go....
FLORIDAAA HERE I COME!
wow.. its gonna be a wicked weekend. ill post when i return.
much love.
<333
Nat
Mar. 25th, 2005 @ 02:30 pm
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| » blissful dreaming. |
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mum just walked in and told me my room stunk. i informed her it was me rotting away in here.... given the fact she STILL won't let me go anywhere.
ACTUALLY.. its the food by the side of my bed. taco bell from last night to be exact. oh .. wait.. dean-o's near the mirror as well.
ive been sneaking out like everynight.. and losing sleep has taken its tole.
friday i snuck out with frances, callie, zack, Austin, TIGRE..i love him more and more everyday.
We went to Tigre's and all met up.. then we went to Hunter's apt.. and played drinking games. it was so much fun. then cake faced girls showed up. ugh. so we left and went to NiteCaps. met up with stewart cormier.. Rabeaux.. Mike WHOA, cro.. and the rest of the gang. Mia got frances kicked out of Nitecaps. ...fucking middle school bullshit. i was drunk... and had a temper. and blew up and dragged frances from the scene.. and we left. we all went to Tigre's again.. and ate Taco Bell. then, around 2 i went home.
i woke up.... sat morning.. and i had 100$ in my pants from the night b4. *no recolection*... hmmmmmm....
...it was fun. but not NEARLY as fun as Wednesday night's outting..
today.. is the day.. i dont know what to do anymore.
i love Tigre so much it kills me.
work is fantastic.. got 14 hours this weekend. whooo... i got my check from the last weekn. 146$. score.
its like tasting a rainbow.
its like cream cheese and strawberries.
its like the best bite saved for last.
its like a soft breeze on a summer's eve.
its like your favorite movie playing encore.
its like.. its.. love.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... i really am just havingone of my spells of love.. stranded in my room. i think i need to hold and snuggle him tonight.
....window.
<333
Natalie.
....its like your best-kept secret and your worst mistake.
Mar. 20th, 2005 @ 05:37 pm
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| » whoooooooo!!! |
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i think... last night was the FUNNEST night I've ever had.
wait. lemme refrase that .......
I KNOW... last night was the funnest night ever.
<333
nat
FUCKING EMBRACE LIFE.
Mar. 17th, 2005 @ 12:36 pm
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| » evil intentions. |
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...you let me scream.
...you let me cry.
...you are my world.
...you are my sky.
...you drive me crazy.
...you drive me wild.
...you make me laugh.
...you make me smile.
...you know my heart.
...and you know.. your my worthwhile.
oh man. someone pinch me.. cause i must be dreaming of a perfect guy.
wow.. he makes my day.. everyday. ahhhh TIGRE BREAUX.......is so awesome.
punished from sadies.. not a biggy tho.. cause ill be in cankton after. yay. watch out.. i may be drunken. ;)
another day of school.. another day till Kara fucking Colligan's sweet sweet 16!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my baby girl.. i love you so much.
i talked to a few guys today i havent in a while.. Austin.. had a short heart to heart with him.. Passed glances AND HUGS with Mr. Self. wow. progression of freindship im guessing?? i love making up.
i think my world is once again revolving.. and im coming to my senses about my mother and our relationship. shes not evil.. just... trying to be a mother. and she does a wonderful job.... even if i want to bash her from time to time.
Zack.... the great. i love our conversations on the line.. on the toilet.
any who.. im off to Old Navy with Nicole.. god i love her. then tanning. o0o0o.. darkness here i come.
<333
Natalie
Never close your eyes.. when your looking at something beautiful....
Mar. 8th, 2005 @ 06:27 pm
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| » ....stop and smell some coffee |
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Can we all say.. PM-fucking-S today. not in the best of moods in the least. and you know who you are if you pinched me in all the wrong places today.
Bowling.. was fun as usual.. ohh frannnyy finckleberry. how u make me die laughing.
i'm supposed to be doing my biology presentation for colbert.. total last minute fix-ups. but..... they can wait.
My cousins came over after school. nice little surprise.
WHATS EVERYONE DRESSING AS FOR SADIES?? ANY COOL IDEAS FOR TIGRE AND I??? HELLLPPPP!!!!!
I didnt get to see my lover tonight.. he's so cute. we were supposed to go eat out.. but being bogged down with schoolwork and family drama.. i wasn't able to make the date. Thumbs down on that one Nat..
Back to the homework hell hole i guess ill go for now... have a wonderful night.. day... whichever sutes u best. :)
Shes got style shes got grace..
......Ohhh! i wish i had that.
<333
Natalie Breaux.
.....haha. just testing it out. ;)
Mar. 2nd, 2005 @ 08:32 pm
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| » hmmph. |
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well.. yesterday was nerve racking. Going home high isnt the greatest feeling.. but... getting away with it. pfftt. victory was mine.
Tigre.. 3 months... 3 words.
Kara is one PHAT CATDADDY, and i love her.
<333
Natalie
Mar. 1st, 2005 @ 10:00 am
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| » he stole my heart yet again. |
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i used to hate valentines.. al the pretty girls got hearts filled with roses and candy. well.. this year girls. was my revenge.
-a love note
-11 white roses
-1 red rose
-candles and music to set the mood
-and extra little surprises.
god im the envy of the female species this year. ...and i got him so good. ;)
kara... ur so hot. we needa hang mutha fucka.
happy-late v-tines everyone.
3 cheers for love
-nat
Feb. 15th, 2005 @ 05:20 pm
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| » tricky business |
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this weekend was awesome ....RECAP.
Friday.. i stayed at Tigre's for a while after school.. then we went back to my house and he cooked for me.. wow. it was so good.
Saturday.. i worked from 7.00 till 2.30.. frannnn and my plans fell through when we both called eachother and didnt have the money we thought we would have to be able to go shopping. ahh well. i went to the mall with tigre instead. then we went back to my house.. he chilled for a while then left for work. Around 9 30 later that night he called and wanted to go do something.. so he came back and we went to Renee's house. Pot, Zach, and Renee were there... we stayed there for about 30 minutes.. then we got bored and went to the party in Youngsville.. Kara, Lauren, Jamie, and Callie pulled up behind us.. screaming drunken out the car. Us, high.. all chilled out in the car in front. the clash was hilarious. We all climbed out.. went to the party and met up with everyone. Just about all were there. Duston.. kept taking my hair down.. and thats about all i remember. hmm.. oh yes. and i saw Torrey in the kitchen of the house were at. ha. 3rd grade lovers. then i left the party with Pot, Zach, and Tigre and we went to tigre's tree house.. that was so awesome. then we went to Cane's.. Perdle came.. he made me eat so much. shoving food in my mouth... thennn we went BACK to the tree house only to find Zach Mac..Jason.. Hardon.. and some other guy i didnt know sitting on the bed.. i climbed on in.. and we played a playstation game while we smoked up again. haha.. oh but wow. best feeling in the world. i ended up passin out on tigre.. and i woke up around 3.. and everyone had left. he brought me home around 4.. snuck in and went to sleep.
sunday night i went to his house till late.. and over slept monday. so i didnt go to school.
...ahh the measly life of a teenager. i always used to think about what it would be like to be in highschool.. this is nothing like i thought i'd turn out. im still not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing.. only time will tell.. but. for now.. im havin a blast! ;)
.......i finally talked to corey after about month. that was okay. i guess. anything is improvment for us. but.. aquaintences we will stay.
...Nat
-and we start all over again. ...from scratch this time.-
KARAAAAA.. i miss u nugga.
Feb. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:40 am
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| » a report i had to save on here.. disregard all. |
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Stem cells have become very important to humand research over the past two decades. These cells which are capable of growing into any of the 300 different kinds of cells in the human body, can be taken from embryos that have ben "discarded" during fertility treatments. Although stme cells can be found in adults and children, the embryos' cells are far more flexible to work with scientifically.
Stme cells are capable of being used in tissue transplants and to help to treat diseases such as Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and diabetes. For such treatments to be created, many stem cells are needed, causing a dillema. Scientists have proposed cloning embryo for the purpose of the production of stem cells. This way, the stem cells needed for patients could be extracted from these DNA-cloned embryos. Cloning embryos, would open the doors to a much needed, steady supply of stem cells.
The cloning of embryo and the use of their stem cells is very costly. President Bush has decided to allow federal funding for the stem cell research, but not the funding of the extraction of stem cells from the embryo, an operation which kills them.
Many people oppose such research because human embryos are harmed. Also, strong religious groups are opposing stem cell research involving embryo. A stem cell break-through could change the world, but without funding and support, this will not be possible.
Bibliography:
1. http://www.nature.com/nature/stemcells/index.html
2. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2001/05/04/MN227447.DTL&type=science
3. http://www.time.com/time/2001/stemcells/
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stem_cell
Jan. 30th, 2005 @ 09:27 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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stayed awake listening to him breathing..
thinking of how we'll turn out..
i stared at the ceiling for half of the night..
and the other half at his beautiful being.
he saved me from so much..
but then again im in it so deep.
i thought it through all night long...
..............and he is worth it all.
<333
Natalie. completely content.
Jan. 29th, 2005 @ 08:22 pm
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| » holla at them hotties |
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i love my hair. i went get it done yesterday with Kara.. hers came out SO feckin awesome.
....we are official hotness.
okay, the plans are made.. im going on spring break with Tigre. mom okay'd it. so it will be..
-me
-Tigre
-Robyn Sellers
-Nick Clark
-Julliana Brisco
-Jordan Davis
-Scotty Rabo
-Stew Cormier
.....wow.. "its gonna be crrraaaazy.. its gonna be nuts." as Tigre so put it.
speaking of.. he came over last night. oh my gosh. i couldnt stop thinking about him after he left.. you know how when you kiss someone.. and they are leaving.. you get that last kiss.. and your satisfied. i dont think i've ever got that last kiss.. i'll cry the day that kiss comes. :)
my mom is going to Baton Rouge today to do something for her business.. then she's going out of town this weekend.. i think to Chicago... but i'm not sure if thats it. hmmph. ah well.. open house is all im saying! haha..
i love life.
<333
*Natalie *
"I wanna kiss you all over...... and over again."
...tigre sang to me in the living room and we slow danced to nothing at all. God does it get any better...
Jan. 25th, 2005 @ 09:40 am
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| » GIRL'S SUSHI NIGHT!!! |
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Leave me a comment and let me know when your free sometime this coming week.. GEENA's comment got me all craving sushi. so now.. we MUST have a sushi night!! :)
-Nat
Jan. 23rd, 2005 @ 10:15 am
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